Wednesday, August 29, 2012

This type of Facebook marketing is dumb in its ‘cleverness’…

Man, I just have to get this off my chest before I explode from the inside out. Here is why:

Initially I thought I was going to share with you, my dear reader, a smart and savvy marketing trick, referral strategy, sales secret or other hot marketing tactic… But no. We have been interrupted comrades! None other by a marketing ‘strategy’ most business men and women probably feel really smug about.

This is none other than a certain type of marketing blitz on Facebook which seems completely innocent on the surface. In fact, it looks so harmless, well thought out and provocative. Some will say that this is the new way to get and keep customers. Its not.

Here is the ‘genius’ client attraction strategy formed by social media guru’s in a single sentence:

“Hey customers, please like us on Facebook.”

Normally, NORMALLY – this would be a good idea. Because when you get a customer to ‘like’ you on Facebook , this happens:

ü  You get the voodoo of commitment and consistency from your own customers (when one person takes a stance on something, he will usually try to find evidence to back it up and go to great lengths to prove his point – according to Cialdini’s breakthrough marketing book Influence – this is kindergarten for you, right?)

ü  You can now message your customer repeatedly for free on Facebook, just by updating your company status

ü  You get to inform your customer of events, new products and competitions thereby increase the amount of sales and buzz for your company


It’s stupid! Rock dumb! Imagine this … Why would I advertise another company (Facebook) on my instore windows, on my radio advert, on my 6 figure commercials, on my company cars and my other expensive media if I’m selling laundry cleaning services?! 

Or if I’m selling carpet cleaning or construction, or fast food, clothing, or heck deodorant man. Do you really think housewives will rush to their computers the moment they hear ‘like our laundry mat on Facebook’ drop their groceries, lock the doors and put the babies to rest to talk about dry cleaning?

Wait, you haven’t even heard the best part of this yet.

They have to do all that, plus login to Facebook, avoid all the darn distractions, 3 friend requests, 7 messages and remember to ‘like’ your Facebook fan page to start talking about dry cleaning. Hell no brobeens. That’s never going to fly in a kajillion years. Heck there is a better chance of a spaceship landing in my backyard.

And you know what the best part is? What infuriates me beyond the rage of the incredible Hulk?

The guys doing this ‘marketing strategy’ often don’t even give the actual link to like the darn page! They just advertise randomly, hey like us on Facebook. Or just some Facebook looking thumb on a store window. I kid you not. Oh my ***.

Not only are they advertising another company and forgetting to sell their own, it simply is not practical. I mean really, who is going to start discussions on Facebook about beans, ties, chairs, dry cleaning or roll on? And even if you do – what are you going to talk about? “hey Facebook fans, check out my our new can of beans, today!”

And these guys (only men can be so brainless – we really do a lot of stupid things) who advised local businesses to do this … are a sorry lot indeed. I’d hose them down with a firehose like I would with a pig in mud. It’s never going to work. What you should rather do instead is …Sell you, your company and your product.

Raymond’s Rampage / over

P.S. I don’t really own 6 figure commercials, store windows and company cars … If I did you won’t be hearing from my sorry ass again … I’ll be in Hawaii with my new friends J

P.P.S. Look I’m really kidding about never hearing from me again. I’m always gonna be here ranting and raving, moaning and groaning, rioting and rampaging about marketing so you can grow your business and provide for your family. But please, put the beans away on social media. 


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